


The World Keeps Turning (Except When You’re Gone)

by Lopithecus



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: (because it's Buck), Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Eddie really tries to be strong but he kind of fails, Emotional Eddie Diaz, Hurt/Comfort, I can't believe that's an actual tag in the list, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23919757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopithecus/pseuds/Lopithecus
Summary: When out on a call, Buck gets badly hurt. Eddie does all that he can to save him while trying to stay calm and professional but it’s not as easy as it would seem.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 25
Kudos: 549





	The World Keeps Turning (Except When You’re Gone)

**Author's Note:**

> Will I eventually write a fic in Buck’s point of view? Probably. Is that today? No.
> 
> I have no idea how realistic this is. I just wanted them to be stuck somewhere together and for Buck to be severely hurt. Also, this ended up much longer than I had planned (as per usual.)
> 
> This takes place any time after 3x15.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this!

“Careful, Buck,” Eddie warns, reaching out to grab a hold of Buck’s shoulder and steer him clear of some debris that falls from the ceiling. They have been called to a building fire and are working their way through the multi-story building, clearing out rooms, and helping any people who have yet to evacuate. The fire is just above them on the next floor up and even from below, Eddie can feel the scorching heat.

“You know, I don’t get it,” Buck begins, rapping on one of the doors. “People hear the fire alarm and then just… stay? Why?”

“People do stupid things sometimes, Buck.” Eddie knocks on another door, calling out. There’s no answer and they move on. “They might think it’s just a drill or not that bad of a fire.” He waves Buck on. “Come on, we have two more floors after this and we don’t want to be in here when that fire starts traveling down.”

The fire has already engulfed three floors, floors that the team has already evacuated. That left the floor Eddie and Buck were on and the two below them. They can hear the crackling above them and there’s no warning when the ceiling gives out in front of Eddie. Buck pulls him back just in time but now the fire is definitely on this floor and spreading fast. The fire is blocking their way forward with no way through it.

Eddie turns to Buck. “We’re going to have to head back,” he says over the roar of the flames.

Buck looks past his shoulder, worry etching his face. “What about the people?”

Eddie shakes his head. The fire is spreading around them now. They don’t have much time. “We’re going to have to find another way over. Come on, we need to get to the other floors. We’re running out of time.”

Buck nods, takes a step back, and Eddie has the sudden feeling of lightness before sheer pain rockets up his legs and back. He turns over onto his side, a groan escaping his mouth before he coughs. His oxygen mask got knocked off and he swallows a lungful of smoke and dust which makes him cough even more. He tries to desperately scramble around for his oxygen mask and when he finds it, he places it quickly back on. Taking a couple of gulps of fresh air, Eddie blinks his eyes open to pitch black.

His heart rate skyrockets before he can calm himself and he reaches up to his helmet to turn on his flashlight quickly. Looking around, he doesn’t like what he sees. He’s surrounded by wood and concrete, somehow nestled into a pocket where the debris got caught on the walls, saving him from being crushed. They must have fallen through the floor but Eddie can’t tell how far they actually fell. He also doesn’t see a way out.

“Buck?” he asks, turning around. Pain shoots through his leg at the motion. He must have landed on it. “Buck?”

There’s a quiet groan back against some rubble closest to the wall. “Eddie?”

“Buck!” Eddie crawls to his friend and starts peeling away the debris that is on him. When he removes the last piece, however, he stops short, the breath catching in his lungs. There’s a piece of wood piercing through Buck’s lower abdomen, blood glistening on it and around it.

“Shit.” Eddie hears Buck whisper. “Well, that’s not good.”

Eddie swallows, trying to remain calm and remember his training. This isn’t the first time he’s had to deal with something like this and also to a friend. He removes his oxygen mask, throwing it off to the side, and notices Buck doesn’t have his on either, most likely having been knocked off as well. “It’s not good but you’re not dead, so there’s that.” Buck squirms and Eddie places his hands on Buck’s shoulders. “Don’t move. I need to assess the situation.”

“Best bet is digging out of here, right?” Buck asks, swallowing hard.

Eddie looks around with dread. “Yeah.” He crawls to the other side of their little bubble. Before starting to dig, he grabs a hold of his walkie and talks into it. “Cap? It’s Eddie. We’ve been pinned under some rubble. Southside of the building. Buck is hurt badly. Impale wound through the lower abdomen. I’m going to try and dig ourselves out.” When he lets go, all he is met with is silence. “Cap?” Still no answer. His walkie might have gotten damaged in the fall. With a sigh, Eddie starts digging through the debris. He doesn’t get very far before his digging causes part of the debris wall to collapse in on itself. Eddie scrambles back to avoid being crushed. “Maybe not.” He grabs his walkie again. “Cap, if you can hear this, negative on digging out. The structure we are under is very unstable. I repeat, it’s very unstable. Use caution when digging.”

“This isn’t good, Eddie.” Buck’s voice is quiet and he can hear the younger man’s heavy breaths. The wood could have punctured a lung.

Eddie crawls back to Buck, looking at the protruding wood. “Okay, I’m going to take care of this as best as I can right now.”

“Eddie,” Eddie carefully unzips Buck’s jacket and lifts the left side off of the wood, working slowly as to not agitate the wound. “How long do you think we can stay here?” He pulls the small first aid kit off his belt, opening it and grabbing the scissors, beginning to cut Buck’s shirt away. “We are, after all, in a burning building.”

“I don’t know, Buck.” Eddie shakes his head, peeling the sticky clothing away from Buck’s skin. It doesn’t look good at all. “Hopefully long enough for them to find us.”

“So, how bad is it Doctor?” Buck asks and when Eddie glances up at him, he has a tired smirk on his face. It disappears at Eddie’s look. “That bad, huh?”

“Do you think you’ll be able to move?” Eddie asks, looking the man over.

Buck looks tired at the thought but he still smiles. “Maybe but if we can’t dig ourselves out, what’s the point?”

“We might have to risk it. I’m going to try and stabilize the wood with some gauze.” Eddie reaches into the first aid kit again and grabs a wad of gauze. “Does it hurt?”

“Not really,” Buck answers and Eddie gives him a pointed look to not lie. “Okay, it hurts a lot.”

Eddie begins packing the gauze around the wood. It immediately turns red with blood. “You know better than to lie when it comes to this stuff, Buck.”

“Sorry,” Buck says breathlessly. “I was trying to contemplate which is worse; getting crushed or impaled.” Eddie snorts, trying to concentrate. “Getting crushed hurts like a bitch, Eddie. Like, all throughout your body. At least… at least until shock starts settling in and then your whole body kind of just goes numb.” Buck raises his hands, making a sweeping motion and Eddie notices they’re shaking. “This… this is more localized pain. It feels really hot but that could be the blood.”

Eddie reaches around Buck, feeling his back where the wood comes out. He needs to gauge at what angle it went in so he can know the extent of the internal damage that might have occurred. It’s below his lung so there’s a possibility that it didn’t puncture it after all but there’s no guarantee. There’s also no telling what other internal organs are damaged. He takes the tape and starts blindly wrapping gauze around the wood behind Buck as well, afraid to move him. “I think only you would be clinical about this, Buck.”

Buck tries to shrug but winces in pain. “Nothing else to do.” Buck’s head is starting to loll to the side, exhaustion taking control.

Knowing he has to keep Buck talking, he asks, “Okay, what else is different? Which would you prefer?”

“That’s a strange question.”

Eddie shrugs, licking his lips. “I want to know.”

Buck’s entire body has started to tremble now. “I think… I think I’d prefer being impaled. At least then it only hurts in one spot. God, Eddie, being crushed hurts so much.” Eddie looks up and sees Buck looking above them. Diverting his eyes, Eddie looks to where Buck is and his heart almost stops. There’s a slab of concrete just above them, precariously balanced between the two walls. Buck grimaces. “I really don’t want to be crushed again, Eddie.”

Eddie shakes his head, getting Buck’s attention. “That’s not going to happen because we’re getting out of here.” Eddie makes a point of looking around before settling on Buck again, shrugging nonchalantly. “And you know, I really don’t feel like getting buried alive again either.” He closes the first aid kit and hooks it back up to his belt. The gauze in front is soaked through with blood.

“I’m going to die here.” The statement takes Eddie by surprise and he looks up at Buck to where he can see his eyes filling with tears.

Eddie shakes his head, taking Buck’s shaking hands. “No, you’re not. I’m going to get you out of here.”

Buck sighs. “Eddie, we do the same thing for a living. I know when it’s bad and not survivable.” Buck tries to smile at him but it’s too sad and Eddie hates it. “You need to get out of here yourself.”

“No.”

“Eddie!” Buck says sternly. “Look at this place. It’s been filling up with smoke, there’s no way digging out of here isn’t going to make it collapse, and we both know I won’t be able to get out on time.”

“Buck, no. I’m not leaving you.” Eddie squeezes Buck’s hands and swallows around the lump in his throat.

“Eddie,” Buck groans stubbornly, closing his eyes briefly. “I can’t feel it anymore.”

Eddie’s blood runs cold at those words but he can’t stop shaking his head because, no goddamn it! “It’s fine.”

“You and I both know that’s not a good sign.” Buck has stopped shaking and he looks exhausted and if Eddie’s gloves weren’t covered in his blood, he’d reach up and wipe the tears off Buck’s face.

Eddie lets go of one of Buck’s hands, reaching up with a shaky hand to his walkie. He hadn’t even noticed he is shaking now. As if he had zapped it out of Buck and placed the tremors into his own body. “Cap?” He watches as Buck’s head falls back, blinking slowly. “Cap, can you hear me? We’re running out of time here.”

Foregoing the blood on his gloves, Eddie reaches out and cups Buck’s head, lifting it back up. “Buck.”

Buck catches his eyes but Buck’s own are unfocused and tired. “I’m so tired, Eddie.”

“I know you are.” Eddie shuffles next to Buck, pressing into him and holding him close. “But you know the drill, Buck, you have to stay awake.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Come on, just talk to me,” Eddie encourages, placing one hand down on the wound to try and stop the bleeding as best he can.

Buck drags in a ragged breath and it breaks Eddie’s heart to hear it. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Don’t,” he automatically says because if he hears Buck say the thing they’ve been dancing around for ages now, it’ll mean the end. It’ll mean Buck is leaving him and Eddie can’t deal with that. He just can’t. Eddie swallows thickly. “You can tell me later.”

Buck nods against his shoulder. “Okay.” He can hear how much of a struggle it is for Buck to take in breaths. “I need… Eddie, I need to close my eyes.”

“No, Buck.” Eddie shifts so he’s back in front of Buck’s prone body, looking down at him. “Buck, you know you can’t,” he says but it’s already too late. Buck has his eyes shut and Eddie cups his face again, trying not to panic. “Buck.” His hands shake wildly. “Evan.”

Buck’s eyes pop open before drooping again. “You never call me that.”

“Stay awake, man, come on.” Buck shakes his head minutely in protest and his head slumps to the side, eyes completely closed.

With his own tears streaming down his face, Eddie checks his pulse. His hands are shaking so badly that it’s hard to feel but it’s there despite being very weak. With a deep breath, Eddie pushes away from Buck and looks around the enclosure. There has to be a sturdy place where he can dig them out.

Crawling around to different sections as quickly as possible, Eddie tests them until he finds a place that he deems structurally sound enough. He starts digging, on the verge of frantic, knowing he doesn’t have much time, but he somehow keeps his calm. Somehow he stays professional, managing to shut off his emotions for now. Eddie digs with determination, glancing at the slab of concrete above them when the thing shifts but doesn’t move again.

Before long, he sees daylight and he calls out to anyone who can hear him. “Eddie?” He hears in the distance and though the tears have stopped rolling down his cheeks, his eyes fill with them once more.

“Over here!” He keeps digging until there is a hole big enough for him to crawl out of. He stands, despite the pain in his leg. The first thing he notices is smoking, black debris, however, the fire is gone. The building must have collapsed more but they were able to put the fire out easier this way. Then he sees Hen in the distance, running towards him and he hobbles in her direction, pointing behind himself. “Buck. Buck, he’s hurt. He’s… you have to help him. I tried…” Hen reaches him and grabs a hold of him to keep him steady. Eddie must make quite the sight if the look on her face is anything to go by.

Eddie turns back in the direction of Buck and starts limping towards him, pointing weakly. “Hen you have to help him. I couldn’t-” His breath hitches and a whimper he can’t control comes out of him. By now Chimney and Bobby are by his side, helping him to stand and they won’t let him walk even though Eddie wants nothing but to get back to Buck’s side.

“Eddie,” Bobby says gently, getting his attention. “What happened?”

Eddie tries to take in a deep breath but he can’t. They come in shallow gulps of panic but even so, his training kicks in from the question. “Buck’s been injured. Impale injury to the lower abdomen. I don’t think his lung was punctured but I can’t know for sure. I’ve stabilized the object but he’s bleeding a lot. I couldn’t stop it. He-he just passed out about five minutes ago. He still had a weak pulse when I last checked but I don’t know about now.”

Hen and Chimney rush over to where Eddie had crawled out of and Eddie tries to follow but Bobby stops him with a hand on his shoulder. “Eddie, let me look you over.”

He shakes his head, turning back to Bobby. “No, I need to go help.”

“Eddie, you’ve done enough.”

“No, no, I told him I wouldn’t leave him,” Eddie explains and the tears in his eyes are back. “Bobby, I can’t-” Eddie’s throat closes up and the tears slip from his eyes. Damn it, he’s not going to break down in front of everyone. He’s used to this. He can deal with it. He can be professional.

Except that he’s exhausted and in pain and shaking and it’s _Buck_ . Oh God, _it’s Buck._

He doesn’t realize he’s collapsing to the ground until Bobby’s got his arms around him and is holding him up. “I’ve got you.” He drags Eddie up and away from where Chimney and Hen are working on Buck and Eddie tries to not think about the fact that Bobby probably just doesn’t want him to see them wheeling out Buck’s dead body because Buck isn’t dead. He can’t be.

The son of a bitch wouldn’t do that to him.

He just wouldn’t.

“Here, sit down.” Bobby deposits him on the back of an ambulance, not one of the 118’s as that will probably be the one they take Buck in. Bobby calls over another paramedic who begins checking Eddie over and asking him questions. He gives Eddie some oxygen and it’s not until he breaths in the clean air that Eddie realizes how much his lungs _hurt_. Bobby continues to stand guard but when Hen comes on the radio to update him about Buck, he quickly steps away and out of earshot of Eddie.

It pisses Eddie off and he pushes up, shoving the paramedic away, and limps over to where Bobby is finishing his conversation on the walkie. “Cap!”

Bobby turns to him, face grim. “They’re bringing Buck to the hospital.”

“Is he alive?” Eddie asks because that’s all he needs to know. He just needs to know if his world can keep turning or if it’s going to stop right here and now.

Bobby hesitates but soon nods. “Yes, he is.”

Eddie’s breathing speeds up and his eyes well up and for fuck’s sake, he wishes they would stop doing that but he can’t seem to control it. “Don’t lie to me,” he says harshly.

“Eddie, I’m not lying.” Bobby takes a step towards him, hands out with his palms facing forward. “He’s in critical condition, but he’s alive.”

“How critical?” Eddie asks as if he doesn’t know, as if he hasn’t seen people die from severe puncture wounds before. He needs to stay focused. This isn’t the time to start panicking.

“It’s not good, Eddie,” Bobby informs him and then places a hand on his shoulder. “He’s going to be fine. You did good.”

Eddie shrugs the hand off. “Bobby, I’m a trained medic. Don’t…” he swallows, tries to take a deep breath to calm himself. “Don’t try and comfort me. I know how it looks. I know I couldn't do much to help Buck. I know…” his throat tightens again but he breathes through it and continues with difficulty. “I know there’s a great possibility that Buck is going to die from this.”

Bobby’s got that sympathetic, all-knowing look that is usually reserved for Buck on his face and Eddie almost feels sick at the sight. “You did what you could and because of that, you did good.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I’ve been in worse situations. I should have done better. If only I had kept my cool better then-”

“Then nothing,” Bobby interrupts, placing a hand on his shoulder again to ground him. Eddie doesn’t want him touching him. “There’s nothing more you could have done in that situation, Eddie. No one could have.”

Eddie doesn’t think he can believe Bobby, not if Buck dies. Not if Buck leaves him and Christopher like Shannon left him. “We have to get to the hospital.”

“Okay,” Bobby agrees, finally letting go of his shoulder. “But only if you promise to get checked out there yourself. Buck will probably be in surgery anyway.”

Eddie just wants to go so he quickly agrees and they take the fire engine to the hospital. Bobby walks him over to the front desk of the emergency room and hands Eddie off to a nurse to get himself checked. When they give him a full bill of good health after letting him breathe in some oxygen and telling him his leg is only sprained, they let him go and Eddie makes his way to the waiting room that Bobby had told him everyone is in.

He approaches Chimney tiredly and he thinks if he sits down, he might fall asleep but at the same time he’s too strung up to do so. “Any news?”

Chimney shakes his head and sighs. “Not yet.” At Eddie’s frown, he says, “He hasn’t been in there long. It’s going to take hours, man.”

Eddie gives him a small nod, feeling sick to his stomach. He walks over to a corner of the room and calls Carla who says she can keep Christopher for a few more hours but won’t be able to keep him for much longer than that. “Okay, hang on. I’ll call you back.”

Next, he calls Pepa. “There’s been an accident at work.”

“Are you okay?” she asks him right away.

“I’m fine. It’s a coworker; Buck. You remember?” She gives him an affirmative and he continues. “I need someone to look after Christopher. I’m going to be at the hospital for several hours but Carla can only keep him a few hours after I was supposed to get him. Can-”

He doesn’t even need to finish his sentence before Pepa is answering firmly. “Of course, I can, Edmundo. Tell Carla to drop him off here whenever she needs.”

“Gracias, Pepa.” He hangs up then and calls Carla back, telling her the game plan. He also tells her not to tell Christopher what has happened to Buck, that he’ll do it himself when he next sees his son. When that is all done, he goes and sits down next to Hen and waits.

*~~~*

Buck is in surgery for seven hours and Eddie is left to wait on his own except for Maddie. The others had to go back to the firehouse and finish whatever shift they were on but Bobby insisted Eddie stay. So Eddie’s been doing nothing but pacing back and forth in the waiting area while Maddie sits there watching him.

“Eddie,” Maddie tries for the hundredth time. “Come sit down. Let me get you some water or coffee.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. Maddie had been kind enough to bring him a change of clothes and Eddie has already checked up on Christopher, calling him about two hours ago. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Christopher what happened to Buck and so Eddie had lied to him, telling his son that someone had gotten sick at work and he was asked to cover. Eddie tries to not feel guilty about lying but he can’t stand the thought of his kid worrying and being sad. “I’m fine,” he amends when Maddie won’t stop staring at him.

She’s frowning now and shouldn’t he be the one trying to be strong for her? “Eddie, he’s going to be fine. They haven’t told us anything different so he has to be.”

“You were a nurse, Maddie, you know things can change from good to bad just like that.” He snaps his fingers for emphasis.

Her frown deepens and she stands, making her way over to him. Eddie is probably annoying the other people in the waiting room too, with his pacing. Maddie gently grabs his arm. “Come sit down.” She carefully drags him over to one of the chairs and sits him down, sitting down next to him. She leans her head on his shoulder, linking their arms, and Eddie lets himself almost feel comforted.

But he knows better. There were many times out in the fields in Afghanistan where surgery was going well and then all of a sudden the person was crashing and they died. So Eddie won’t allow himself to hope or relax. Instead, he waits for the second shoe to drop and stays on high alert.

His heart drops into his stomach when, another hour later, the doctor comes out looking grim. Both him and Maddie stand, meeting him halfway. “How’s my brother?” Maddie asks.

The doctor sighs and Eddie is about ready to throw up until she smiles at them and says, “He made it through.” Eddie lets the breath he had been holding out in relief. “He’s under heavy sedatives and so will be asleep for a while but I think he’s going to pull through okay.”

Maddie has tears streaming down her face and she’s smiling. “That’s great news. Can we see him?”

The doctor looks from Maddie to Eddie and back. “Of course. I’ll show you to the room.”

They follow the doctor to the ICU and when she pulls back the curtain to Buck’s room, Eddie’s stomach flips with nausea. He’s shaking again and his palms are sweaty, heart beating crazy in his chest and he’s definitely going to throw up.

While Maddie goes straight up to Buck and cups one of his hands in hers, Eddie turns around, leaves the ICU, and beelines it to a one-person unisex bathroom where he promptly empties his stomach into the toilet. He’s amazed he even managed to make it to the bathroom and chalks it up to his training for the army. When he’s done throwing up, he shakily cups some water and rinses his mouth out, coughing at the burning sensation in his throat. He’s shaking uncontrollably and he feels hot and anxious and, yeah, he’s crying again.

He leans back against the wall, hitting his head against it when he tilts it back, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. Digging in his pocket for his phone, he looks at the screen and sees Maddie’s name across it.

**From Maddie:**

_Are you okay?_

**To Maddie:**

_Yeah. I’ll be right back._

Eddie shoves his phone back into his pocket and leans his head back against the wall once more, taking deep breaths. Buck is okay. He’s fine. He’s going to live. Eddie wipes a hand down his face, smearing his tears. Buck had looked so pale, lying in that bed. Eddie had almost lost him. They have almost lost each other more than once. God, all this time they’ve been dancing around each other and how they feel about one another when they could die at any moment. What the hell are they waiting for?

Sniffling, Eddie pushes off the wall and splashes water on his face. When he looks at himself in the mirror, his eyes are red and puffy and his cheeks are splotchy. There’s no hiding the fact that he’s been crying… well… sobbing really. He’s embarrassed by it and it’s only made worse when he opens the door to the bathroom to see someone waiting for it outside the door. He suddenly can’t remember if he had been crying silently or noisily and Eddie’s cheeks flame red. The older woman gives him the common courtesy to smile at him sympathetically before pushing by him and entering the bathroom herself.

Wallowing in his embarrassment, Eddie slowly makes his way back to Buck’s room. Maddie is still there, sitting in a chair next to the bed, and she looks up at him in worry. “Are you okay?”

Eddie nods silently and pulls up another chair on the opposite side of the bed. He takes a hold of Buck’s other available hand. He can feel Maddie’s eyes on him. “What is it?”

She sighs tiredly. “He feels the same way, you know?”

“I know,” he says simply.

This seems to surprise her. “You know? Did he tell you?”

“No.” He swallows. “He was going to. I stopped him.”

“Why?” she asks, brows scrunching in confusion.

“Because it’s what you do before you die.” He shakes his head. “I wasn’t going to let him die.”

Maddie’s lips thin and Eddie has to look away from her. Instead, he looks at Buck’s pale face. At least he just looks like he’s sleeping and not in pain. “You should tell him.”

“I know.”

“How come you don’t then? He wouldn’t reject you.” She huffs a small laugh. “He’d probably be overjoyed.”

Eddie shakes his head and licks his lips. “I don’t know how to.” Then, “No, I… I do know how, I just…” he trails off, not being able to continue.

“Then why can’t you?” Maddie pushes.

Eddie sighs, looks at Buck again and feels his heart beat into his throat, making it hard to breathe. “I’m afraid.”

“Of?”

“Letting someone in,” he says, rubbing the back of Buck’s hand with his thumb.

Maddie smiles at him, warm and amused. “Eddie,” she waits for him to look in her direction. “You’ve already done that. Buck’s already in.”

*~~~*

Buck doesn’t wake up until the next day. He groans and shifts, face scrunching in discomfort. Eddie is by his side, grabbing a hold of his hand and squeezing it to try and calm the man. “Hey, it’s okay.”

Buck blinks open his eyes, staring up at Eddie. “Eddie?”

Eddie smiles at him and almost brushes his hair back. “Hey. You’re in the hospital.”

Buck looks around and grimaces. “God, I hate hospitals.”

Eddie chuckles and pulls the chair he had been sitting in closer so he can sit. “You and me both.”

Buck’s eyes land back on his and they study each other. Eddie is so relieved to be able to see those blue eyes again. “You stayed.”

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Eddie says, not being able to resist anymore and so he reaches up and brushes his free hand through Buck’s hair. “You scared the shit out me, man.”

“I scared myself.” Buck smiles, licking his dry lips.

“Are you thirsty? In pain? They have you on some pretty strong drugs right now but if you’re hurting I can get a nurse and-”

Buck interrupts him, shaking his head. “No, I’m not in pain. I can’t really feel anything right now. Pretty loopy.” Buck looks around the room again. “Christopher?”

“I haven’t told him what has happened.” Buck nods in understanding at that. “I didn’t want to worry him. I’ll tell him when you’re out of here and out of danger.”

Buck nods again, swallowing. “My mouth is so dry.”

Eddie huffs in good humor. “That’s why I asked if you were thirsty, you idiot.” He grabs the cup and pitcher of water one of the nurses left and pours Buck some water, placing a straw in it. “Here, let me help. You’re going to be a little weak for a little while.” Eddie lifts the cup to Buck’s mouth and Buck grabs the straw between his lips to sip gingerly at the liquid. He drinks the whole cup before letting his head fall back to the pillow. “You have a catheter in so you don’t have to worry about going to the bathroom yet.”

“Good. I don’t think I’d be able to make it.” Buck gives him a smile. “My limbs feel like lead.” Then his smile disappears and he looks at Eddie with so much empathy and sadness that Eddie has to look away. “How bad did it get?”

“You passed out and I had to dig us out.”

“Without getting us crushed?”

Eddie chuckles, squeezing Buck’s hand again. “Yeah, it was touch and go but like I told you, you weren’t getting crushed again and I wasn’t going to get buried again.”

“My hero.” Buck’s eyes light up with admiration and love and Eddie’s cheeks get hot.

“Hen and Chim got you out,” he continues, ignoring the flush that’s gone all through his body. “We didn’t know if you were going to make it. You were in surgery for ages and then when they were done, you were asleep for a while. Maddie was here for a long time when you were sleeping and just stepped out to go home for a couple of hours to shower, change, and then call into work. She’ll be back soon though.”

“And the others?” Buck asks sleepily.

“Uh,” Eddie runs a hand through his own hair. He’s exhausted but he had refused to sleep before Buck woke up. “Bobby and Athena were here about an hour ago. Chimney said he’ll stop by later after his shift and Hen, well,” Eddie gets up out of the chair, letting go of Buck’s hands. He walks over to the rolly table and lifts up a fruit basket. “Hen brought this. I guess Karen made it for you.”

Buck’s smile is wide with happiness and it fills Eddie’s chest with warmth. “I was wondering what that was and where it came from.” Buck reaches out, gesturing for Eddie to take his hand again. Eddie complies, sitting back down. “And what about you?”

Eddie shrugs. “What about me?”

“Have you gotten any rest?” Buck is eyeing him. “Because I’ll bet you look just as bad, if not worse, as me.”

Eddie scoffs good-naturedly. “What are you talking about? I always look good.”

“So do I,” Buck says. “And that’s the point.”

Eddie chuckles at Buck’s ridiculousness, shaking his head. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

“For a matter of fact,” Buck begins, laughing and causing Eddie to laugh too. “I do.”

Eddie laughs at him, ducking his head and pressing their joined hands against his forehead. He laughs until he starts to cry, shoulders shaking with the effort. It’s like everything that he has been feeling just rushes into his chest and pushes against him, suffocating him. He feels happy and sad, anxious and relieved, mournful and loving, all at the same damn time. And he can no longer control them. He can no longer keep them at bay and so he cries in front of Buck, wet sobs coming from his mouth as he gasps for air.

Buck’s other hand is carding through his hair, petting him soothingly. “Eddie?” Buck pulls on his hand. “Eddie, it’s okay. Come here.”

He looks up at Buck, his best friend, the man he has been in love with for so long now that he can’t even imagine living without him. Buck pulls him closer, guides him weakly onto the bed, and maneuvers them both until Eddie has room to lie in the bed next to him. Eddie, for all he’s worth, buries his face into Buck’s chest and cries and cries and cries. Buck’s hand runs up and down his back as his other arm wraps around Eddie’s waist, holding him close and whispering over and over again that’s it’s okay.

And if Eddie lets slip while he’s there bawling his eyes out that he loves Buck and Buck says it back to him ever so quietly while pressing his lips against Eddie’s head, well, that’s for them to know and only them.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this fic! Eddie is probably a little ooc in this, I know, but I wanted him to be a little bit vulnerable. I mean, that’s the love of his life almost dying right there after all. ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> [Tumblr](https://angelcamael.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Fanfiction Tumblr](https://lopithecusfanfiction.tumblr.com/)


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